he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
