I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
