i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
