I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
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It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
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is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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