I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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