okay pat passed out under dana's car
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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