Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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