remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
