And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
