I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
