Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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