ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize