i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
