haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Randomize
