Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
