You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
