chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
