either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
