You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
