my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
