Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
