if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
