she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
