***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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