miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
