She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Liz is crying about burritos again.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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