So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
