Kiss
Puke
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
