i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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