is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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