are you still at the devil's house?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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