Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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