I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
