I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
