Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
