I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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