It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
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I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
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I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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