Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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