My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
