Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
What drink are we having for lunch?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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