we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
