My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
