guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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