I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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