dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize