just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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