whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
