So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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