He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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