I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
