Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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