i just had sex bonerless
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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