susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
