I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
