Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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