Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
