Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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