Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
