dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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