I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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