i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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