The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
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I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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