i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
