Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
