As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
FUCK WHALES
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
